The Tyranny of Unrealistic Expectation

I believe that no institution has done more harm to the cause of Christ than the Roman Catholic Church. Its many and documented excesses and errors have, and are continuing, to lead good, decent people down a primrose path. But, one of the most sinister errors of them all is leaving a trail of destroyed lives and good works laid in ruins among an important group of believers..

It was the RCC which perpetuated the belief, or myth, that the priest had special powers. It goes something like this: the priest was Christ’s special emissary, His representative. Therefore, his prayers have special powers; he had special powers to forgive sins, even of those who were dying and unable to respond. The priest could grant indulgences which could cancel out the penalty of sins in exchange for, most often, money. Because of this,the priest was put upon a higher plane than other believers; thusly, the distinction between clergy and laity was birthed.

Sadly, one of the many failures of the protestant reformation was the failure to destroy the clergy-laity distinction. While many of the excesses were pointed out and destroyed, the myth that the preacher, or pastor, had special powers and authority was still preeminent. It was because of this that the thought grew that, somehow, the preacher is to be better than the other members of the local assembly. His marriage was to be perfect, his children were to be perfect, and he was to conduct his life almost in a manner such as Christ. Because of this, the preacher has unrealistic expectations placed on him and his family. The statements Paul makes in Romans 3 about the totality of the sinfulness of mankind is lost when it comes to the minister.

With the restoration Movement, and its stressing of the non-existence of the distinction, as well as a restoration of biblical leadership in the church, no doubt that some hoped that this flawed thinking would be done away with, or, at least, framed in a more scriptural context. Sadly, this is not the case. Preachers and their families continue to suffer the consequences of such thought processes among the members whose families and friends may have been influenced by Catholic and, even, evangelical thought on the matter. In short, the preacher is supposed to never sin, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or to ever, ever say “NO” to anything that the church or its members want. He is to be perfect.

This thinking manifest itself in several ways. Someone may be sick in the hospital, and everyone in the church may visit, but it only matters if the preacher visits. Several may gather at a meal or an outing, and anyone could offer a prayer, but its of no good unless the preacher offers it. Others could call and evangelize the community, but it won’t work unless the preacher does it. Such thinking, coupled with a lack of knowledge (or just plain refusal) of scriptural church leadership, and the already pointed out thinking on the character of the local preacher, makes for a deadly toxin that can damage, or even destroy, a preacher’s marriage, family, and ministry – even without the preacher having not committed any major errors in judgment or character.

Preachers leave their churches on a regular basis, because someone or some clique in the local congregation has unrealistic expectations, or has a grievance against the preacher, or their family, based on a simply silly point. One preacher I know left his church after, among other things, his wife, who was a mother in her twenties, did not spend most of her time with the older women of the congregation.

And, there are the things that are out of our control. One preacher recently left a church that he was serving with great happiness. Why? A grave offense of scripture on his part? No. He left because his wife got a better offer …. from another man. To the best of my knowledge, this man did no wrong, nor committed any immorality in his marriage, and was a good husband, father, and preacher. His life is in ruins, he and his child must start over again, and he is damaged goods – through no fault of his own. Why could have the man’s congregation come along side of him, loved him, consoled him, and offered to help him in his time of need? Maybe they offered and he refused. But, I know, more ofter than not, men like him are kicked to the curb…….” I wish you well; be warm and fed.”

Please do not misunderstand me; the preacher, above all, must try to model Christlikeness in how he lives his life. After all, we preach as much by how we live as we do by what we say. He is to be an example – but so is everyone else who names the name of Christ. We are not to expect any more from the man in the pulpit than any other member – nor any less.

The preacher is no “super saint” – he is a Christian who, through varying circumstances, has come to the place of proclaiming God’s word to His people. As MacArthur once said, “I’m not a chef; I’m just the waiter.” His life is to be a reflection of God’s glory, as is every believer’s. How we break this cycle of unrealistic expectations is for another time and, perhaps, another person. But we, as Christians, need to take stock of ourselves and our own thinking on what we expect from our preachers….and what we can do to make their lives and jobs easier.